Tips for Discussing Funeral Plans
May 10, 2022
Discussing plans for your own funeral service can be uncomfortable to broach with family and friends. We'll give you some insight as to how to go about it.
We completely understand that broaching the subject of your own
funeral arrangements
to your family can be pretty uncomfortable and tricky. Unfortunately, these conversations, despite how difficult they may be, are absolutely necessary and vital. Doing so will not only give you peace of mind in knowing that your final wishes will be carried out but also relieve your family of any unnecessary burden upon the event of your death. It’s important to remain as proactive as possible, which is why we’ve compiled these suggestions to make these conversations a little easier to have.
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While we understand that these types of conversations can be uncomfortable, it’s absolutely essential that you are the one who initiates it rather than letting everyone find out on their own. Doing so will show your family and loved ones how seriously you are taking this matter and that it means a lot to you. Be sure that you have thoroughly and properly planned all of your funeral plans ahead of time, as it will lead to less confusion and unanswered questions. We suggest waiting for a moment in which all of your family and loved ones are in a calm and open state of mind. The worst thing we can do when broaching this type of subject is to begin the conversation when people are either on-edge or agitated about something.
Chances are that when you bring this difficult subject up your loved ones will have a lot to say. It’s important that despite whatever points they bring up that you listen attentively to each of their worries and concerns. Once they have all finished speaking, you can address the points they brought up and assure them that you have a solid plan in place. Additionally, it’s always a good idea to assure them that you are okay and that you are just being proactive. Explaining that your decision to preplan was in part to ease their burden in the event of your death may give them a better understanding of where you are coming from. This is also a good time to voice where you are in terms of cremation over burial, funeral services , location, and other information. Additionally, you could also ask their input on other matters that are less personal, like which songs or hymns they’d prefer at the service and guests.
It’s best to broach this conversation sooner rather than later. The sooner you do it, the more time your family has to mull over the idea in their head and digest all that you told them. One of the worst things that could occur if you want too late to tell them is that they find out on their own. This would be really conflicting as they may feel as though you kept a huge secret from them. To avoid any hurt feelings, we always suggest beginning the conversation as early as possible.
Initiate the Conversation
While we understand that these types of conversations can be uncomfortable, it’s absolutely essential that you are the one who initiates it rather than letting everyone find out on their own. Doing so will show your family and loved ones how seriously you are taking this matter and that it means a lot to you. Be sure that you have thoroughly and properly planned all of your funeral plans ahead of time, as it will lead to less confusion and unanswered questions. We suggest waiting for a moment in which all of your family and loved ones are in a calm and open state of mind. The worst thing we can do when broaching this type of subject is to begin the conversation when people are either on-edge or agitated about something.
Take Time to Listen
Chances are that when you bring this difficult subject up your loved ones will have a lot to say. It’s important that despite whatever points they bring up that you listen attentively to each of their worries and concerns. Once they have all finished speaking, you can address the points they brought up and assure them that you have a solid plan in place. Additionally, it’s always a good idea to assure them that you are okay and that you are just being proactive. Explaining that your decision to preplan was in part to ease their burden in the event of your death may give them a better understanding of where you are coming from. This is also a good time to voice where you are in terms of cremation over burial, funeral services , location, and other information. Additionally, you could also ask their input on other matters that are less personal, like which songs or hymns they’d prefer at the service and guests.
Start Early
It’s best to broach this conversation sooner rather than later. The sooner you do it, the more time your family has to mull over the idea in their head and digest all that you told them. One of the worst things that could occur if you want too late to tell them is that they find out on their own. This would be really conflicting as they may feel as though you kept a huge secret from them. To avoid any hurt feelings, we always suggest beginning the conversation as early as possible.
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